Tag Archives: LeBron James

LeBron James: Cleveland Codependence

My grandmother got a new copy of the same book every year. It had some slight updates but was never radical in its approach. It was big, and leather bound and had a shiny imprint lettering on the cover. It was the Physicians Desk Reference. The handy guide to medicine and ailments and every year my grandmother got herself a new copy to go through and highlight and obsess and attempt to treat because well, she was a nurse. During World War II my grandmother was a nurse, she was married right after the war and started a family and was never a nurse again. But the big new copy of the PDR made her a nurse again and any ailment told to her would be a quick page flip away from complete diagnosis.

When I was older I used to have a fantasy that we would play a trick on her and slip in a copy of the DSM4, the psychiatric guide to diagnosis. That would really blow her mind. She could ask “Andy, what’s wrong?” And I could say “Well, I’m a little fatigued and feeling a little hot but mostly I think I’m suffering from a summer co-dependence. I always forget, do you starve a co-dependence or feed a co-dependence?”

Co-dependence is one of those things that we all feel like we have a feeling for. We can spot the codependents in our circle of friends or our family, we can tell there’s just something off with that one friend of ours who will just never go out without her boyfriend, and surprise, the boyfriend never wants to go out!

One of the greatest examples of co-dependence we see almost daily is on reality television. The best example of co-dependence is the show Hoarders. You know Hoarders even if you’ve been living under a rock under a dumpster that it’s a cave that’s hidden in the treacherous terrain of whatever enemy land occupies your worst nightmare.

So at some point on each episode of Hoarders the therapist comes in and talks with our Hoarder.

Therapist – Now Terry, why don’t you tell me about what made you start….collecting.

Terry  – Well, Doc, one day I lost my keys to my truck and then I decided I’m not gonna lose nothing anymore.

Therapist – But Terry, haven’t you lost…everything?

When the 2014 free agency summer session started, all eyes were on LeBron James. He had completed his contract with the Miami Heat and although it was enticing to keep the band together for one more try in Miami, eventually King James moved back home and became a Cleveland Cavalier again.

The betrayal that Cleveland fans felt when he left to join Miami drove the image of LeBron from hometown hero to heel. People burned his jersey, when the Cavs drafted Kyrie Irving, he was immediately crowned the savior. He wasn’t from Ohio, he had no ties to the team or the place, but he had to replace him. Capital H him.

He wasn’t allowed to entertain the notion of leaving lest the entire city drag him back to Quicken Loans center.

The relationship between LeBron and Cleveland is enough to fill Sigmund Freud’s grave. LeBron doesn’t get to leave the state of Ohio and at the age of 18, he is put onto the savior pedestal. The chosen one who just months before had to ask to use the bathroom now has the save all of the sorry franchises that ever existed in Cleveland.


It’s hard to watch a fanbase suffer for so long, but it’s just as hard to watch a friend or a family member be stuck in a codependent relationship. You ache for them to take a step back and assess the situation, you want them to go talk to a therapist, or a priest or a psychic and get a new perspective, you want them to gain some kind of epiphany to see that their situation is toxic.

But love and fandom do not reside in the rational corners of your brain. You want to sit the entire city of Cleveland down and say

Therapist – Now Cleveland, why don’t you tell me about what made you start….hurting.

Terry – Well I think it all started because the industries left this town and all we had were our teams and then they just…kept….hurting us.

Therapist – But Cleveland, aren’t you hurting…yourself?

Cleveland wasn’t the only city in the Midwest who had a superstar come back into the fold. Derrick Rose played the most he’s played since 2011 this past season and at times he looked great, at times he looked bad, but the future of the Chicago Bulls is still caught up in the expensive dollars dedicated to Rose, while at risk of losing rising star Jimmy Butler in free agency. There are also glaring holes that could be replaced if Rose’s salary were to disappear.

And yet Chicago fans cannot seem to let go the idea that Rose can return to his MVP form. And the team could squander Butler away from the team, waste away the final years of Pau Gasol, the ascending years of Aaaron Brooks and Tony Snell.

Okay scratch that, but if the money wasn’t tied up in Rose, if fans could let go of the codependent hope that Rose someone recovers from his, at last count, hundreds of injuries and leave the hope behind.

Last Nights Number: Detroit Pistons vs Cleveland Cavaliers


The Cavs only shot 37.8% on field goal attempts and 17.2% from three point attempts, only nailing 5 three pointers. The Cavs went down hard against the Pistons 103-80. Kyrie Irving did not play and LeBron James had 17 points, 10 rebounds, 7 assists and 7 turnovers. Tristan Thompson went 7 for 8 shooting and had 18 points and 11 rebounds and Kevin Love got 20 points and 10 rebounds.

The Pistons got their second win in a row after dumping Josh Smith and the backcourt took advantage of Kyrie’s absence. Brandon Jennings had 25 points,  6 assists and 5 rebounds. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope had 13 points and the big men Drummond and Monroe combined for 26 points and 23 rebounds.

So hey, the Pistons might be doing things.

Last Nights Number: Miami Heat vs Cleveland Cavaliers

4 for 5

As LeBron James returned to Miami to face his old squad. One familiar face and one new face chipped in 4 for 5 FG shooting to push the Heat to a 101-91 win over the Cavs. Chris Anderson went 4 for 5 with 8 rebounds, 2 steals and one block. While Danny Granger matched that field goal record and got 7 rebounds. Granger ended with 9 points, Anderson with 12.

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The Wizards went into Madison Square Garden and dominated the Knicks at home, especially in the paint. The Wizards got 50 of their 102 points in the paint with Wall leading the bunch on 24 points and 11 assists, now tied for the lead in players with double-doubles to lead the league.

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The Los Angeles Clippers held the Golden State Warriors to 21.4% shooting from three point line last night giving the Dubs their second straight loss. The Warriors went 6 for 28 behind the line, with Klay Thompson making only 2 of his 10 attempts and Steph Curry made 1 for 5.

Last Nights Number: Oklahoma City Thunder vs Cleveland Cavaliers


The combined points and assists of Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook as the Thunder took advantage of a LeBron-less Cavs in a 103-94 win.
Kyrie Irving collided knees and was out for about a quarter but returned to play the second half and looked fine. James sat with a sore knee. The Cavs 8 game win streak was stopped while the Thunder grabbed their 4th straight win.

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Speaking of former first round picks of the Thunder, James Harden scored 44 points in a 113-109 overtime win over the Sacramento Kings.  Rudy Gay was limited to only 13 points on 4 for 18 shooting in the field. Ben McLemore had 21, Darren Collison had 24, but the Kings are still hurting without Boogie Cousins.

NBA All Trip Metal Team

Last year the infamous noise band  Trip Metal band Wolf Eyes was interviewed and John Olson claimed that noise was “completely, 100%” dead. If you think sports fans are a finicky and emotional bunch, try being an isolated noise dude and you come upon that. And yet, Trip Metal has stuck around in that year and noise has been dissemintated more and more as the year has gone on.
Trip Metal hasn’t been defined, which is helpful, but it does maintain a certain quality that touches the soul of an outsider. It only makes sense to go across the aisle and shape the NBA All Trip Metal team.

Ron Artest

Last month we celebrated the ten year anniversary of the wild Malice in the Palace where a fight broke out between players of the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers and then the crowd, and in the midst of the brawl, Ron Artest took a quick nap on the scoring table.

He later went to therapy, found a better sense of himself, and changed his name twice: once to Meta World Peace and then again to The Panda’s Friend. He now plays in China wearing sneakers with panda bears on them.


Delonte West

West was a solid-but-kinda-not bench player that bounced around for a while. In September of 2009, West was pulled over in his native Washington DC for a traffic violation. On his three-wheeled motorocycle, police found a 9mm Beretta pistol, a .357 Magnum, a Remington 870 and a sword in a guitar case.

He was also tarnished by the rumor that while playing with LeBron James on the Cleveland Cavaliers, West had slept with LeBron’s mother.

Darryl Dawkins

The Patron Saint of Trip Metal Ballers.  Dawkins was a tank of a human being, the size of a refrigerator that could still dunk and loved to break backboards. His main nickname, of which there were many, was Chocolate Thunder. He claimed he was from the planet Lovetron.

He enjoyed breaking backboards so much the NBA had to institute a rule to stop him from doing it.

Dennis Rodman

In the hyper athletic and socially conservative years of the Michael Jordan era, Dennis Rodman dyed his hair in wild ways, putting on a wedding dress and still managed to win five NBA champtionships as the irritating Worm character.

He also had a brief wrestling career, starred in Double Team with Jean Claude Van Damme, became friends with Korean dictator Kim Jong Un and lead a bunch of very uncomfortble looking ex-NBA players on a goodwill tour.

Forever trip metal.

Last Nights Number: Cleveland Cavaliers vs Toronto Raptors

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The Cleveland Cavaliers lost their 4th straight in a 110-93 loss to the Raptors. LeBron James finished with 15 points and 10 assists, but sat out most of the 4th quarter. But the Cavs could not contend against the Raps and Lou Williams with 36 points.

So, time to panic, Cav fans?

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43 points and 14 boards was the final line for Anthony Davis as the Pelicans beat the Utah Jazz 106-94. Gordon Hayward had 31 points for Utah, but The Brow was dominating the mid-range game and took it to the Jazz all night.

Full highlights via @DawkinsMTA