It’s only 11 games into the season, but that doesn’t mean that the masters of world domination are not already at work affecting the NBA season. Let’s take a look at the winners and losers of the new world order.
Vanquished to a Secret Level of Purgatory
The Los Angeles Lakers, Oklahoma City Thunder, Orlando Magic
The Overlords have kept these teams from having healthy units to play the floor. Giving their transgressions from attempting to control the media (Los Angeles), fracking (OKC), or merely underplaying the sorcery of the Illuminati (Orlando), as soon as one player has recovered, another is taken away.
Held in a Labryinth
Cleveland Cavaliers and Los Angeles Clippers
Two of the biggest front runners of the year are being toyed with by the Overlords are now just a game over .500. They’re inconsistent, stuck in the murk and harpooning expectations of the pre-season. Will the Illuminati deem them worthy and pluck them out of the mire and into the spotlight of the NBA? Possibly one team, but for both to be granted such exclusion, a sacrifice of great importance will have to be made. So, probably Dion Waiters.
And who will the Overlords deem the destroyer of worlds? Which of the NBA audience will look at his works, ye Mighty and despair? Will it Anthony Davis with his 4 blocks per game? Will it be Nikola Vucevic, averaging a double-double of 18 points and 11 boards? Will it be DeAndre Jordan with 12 rebounds and 2 blocks a game? Early indications have it that The Brow will lead in this category, but should not take his eyes off the competition.
Subverting False Gods
Though his big introduction to the mainstream media was in the shadow of a woman who later bared her ass for the world, Kris Humphries declined the invitation into the false echelon of a celebrity Illuminati to stay the course and has been rewarded as such. After a slow start after a gruesome hand injury, Humphries has put up 6.3 ppg and 4.0 rebounds, which may not sound like a lot, but Humph has become a foundation on the bench unit for the Washington Wizards. As he did in Boston, Humphries hustle and physical play inside the paint has earned him many fans in the
Illuminati Headquarters Nations Capitol.