Category Archives: Stay Woke

Mamaleek & The Splash Brothers: Stay Woke

The mysterious black metal duo Mamaleek just released their newest slab of experimental lofi murk in their album Via Dolorosa.

So little is known about the band, their scant biography only has them as a pair of brothers from the Bay Area of San Francisco, and the only published photo of them is as children-

mamaleek

And who even knows if that is really them?

But within the shadows of invented mythology of metal bands, there is probably a more sinister truth to the core of Mamaleek: They are the Splash Brothers.

Yes, the backcourt duo of Klay Thompson and Steph Curry, currently ready to do battle against the Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA Finals.

Preposterious? Absurd? That’s just what THEY want you to believe, cause I deal in #factsonly and provide the following evidence.

According to Encyclopedia Metallum, Mamaleek was formed in San Francisco in 2008. That year they released two albums, their self-titled debut and Fever Dream.

Steph Curry was drafted by the Golden State Warriors in 2009.

So, the origins of metal bands are always rife with smoke and mirrors, obscuring the birthplace of who and what and where, so we can take their origins with a grain of salt. There is no disputing that they were always a duo, however the project could have just been one brother working on the music without the full help of the other brother.

In 2011, the same year Klay Thompson was drafted by the Dubs, Mamaleek released their album Kurdaitcha on the Enemies List Home Recordings label. The album proved to be a huge jump in the aesthetic performance of the band.

Shifting way far out of the form of a bedroom black metal duo, Mamaleek combined the lofi aesthetic with Arabic influences, a slower pace and knee deep in experimentation. The duo shook the dusty, rigid format of black metal while not attempting to make it a crossover, still put an indelible stamp on it.

The Splash Brothers took a similar approach to their basketball play, honing in on similar skills, a pairing shouldn’t work between the two of them, but it’s easily the best grouping of the NBA.

Same with Mamaleek’s approach to their experimentation, the combining of a vast array of influences and sounds, even pop music, combined with the increasinly graying sound of black metal would be wasted in the wrong hands, but the chemistry of the group outshines the possible deficiencies.

The Brothers Splash/Mamaleek still ascended in 2014 with a hard fought first round exit in seven games against the Los Angeles Clippers and the Mamaleek album He Never Spoke a Mumblin’ Word.

Shortly after their playoff loss, Warriors coach Mark Jackson was fired amid a flurry of personel issues between other coaches, management and Jackson.

One report was that given Mark Jackson’s sidejob as a pastor, he had frequently spent time preaching to his team. Known for being a boisterous player and play by play man, Jackson wasn’t shy to speak his mind.

Is it possible that the title of Mamaleek’s fourth album is a direct reference to Jackson? Watch this video of Jackson preaching the gospel on the streets of Los Angeles to see if that voice could be attributed to the idea of a man who never spoke a mumblin word.

Jackson was replaced by Steve Kerr and the Warriors ascended to a great height as they lean on the edge of winning the franchise’s first championship since the 60’s.

In addition to that, Mamaleek have released their latest album Via Dolorosa. The title comes from the Latin phrase “Way of Grief” and is frequently used to reflect the passage within the City of Jerusalem that was the path that Jesus walked on the way to his crucifixion.

Steph Curry is a devout Christian who frequently speaks about his faith, so the title being used by him would make a lot of sense. But it also could describe the path of former coach and fellow Christian, Mark Jackson.

The facts are there that the identity of the Splash Brothers are the same as Mamaleek. But we can keep a secret, no reason to ruin a good thing.

 

Early NBA Illuminati Roundup

illuminati

It’s only 11 games into the season, but that doesn’t mean that the masters of world domination are not already at work affecting the NBA season. Let’s take a look at the winners and losers of the new world order.

Vanquished to a Secret Level of Purgatory

The Los Angeles Lakers, Oklahoma City Thunder, Orlando Magic

The Overlords have kept these teams from having healthy units to play the floor. Giving their transgressions from attempting to control the media (Los Angeles), fracking (OKC), or merely underplaying the sorcery of the Illuminati (Orlando), as soon as one player has recovered, another is taken away.

Held in a Labryinth

Cleveland Cavaliers and Los Angeles Clippers

Two of the biggest front runners of the year are being toyed with by the Overlords are now just a game over .500. They’re inconsistent, stuck in the murk and harpooning expectations of the pre-season. Will the Illuminati deem them worthy and pluck them out of the mire and into the spotlight of the NBA? Possibly one team, but for both to be granted such exclusion, a sacrifice of great importance will have to be made. So, probably Dion Waiters.

Ozymandias Threat

And who will the Overlords deem the destroyer of worlds? Which of the NBA audience will look at his works, ye Mighty and despair? Will it Anthony Davis with his 4 blocks per game? Will it be Nikola Vucevic, averaging a double-double of 18 points and 11 boards? Will it be DeAndre Jordan with 12 rebounds and 2 blocks a game? Early indications have it that The Brow will lead in this category, but should not take his eyes off the competition.

Subverting False Gods

Though his big introduction to the mainstream media was in the shadow of a woman who later bared her ass for the world, Kris Humphries declined the invitation into the false echelon of a celebrity Illuminati to stay the course and has been rewarded as such. After a slow start after a gruesome hand injury, Humphries has put up 6.3 ppg and 4.0 rebounds, which may not sound like a lot, but Humph has become a foundation on the bench unit for the Washington Wizards. As he did in Boston, Humphries hustle and physical play inside the paint has earned him many fans in the Illuminati Headquarters Nations Capitol.

 

Last Nights Number: Wizards vs Maccabi Haifa

illuminati-spells2

11

Glen Rice Jr had 11 points in 11 minutes on 5 for 11 shooting. He also had one personal foul, one turnover and went 1-for-1 in free throws. He then sprained his ankle in the third quarter and was seen walking out of the arena with a large walking boot due to swelling.

Clearly he cracked the Illuminati code and was punished. Stay Woke.

The Wizards won 101-95.

Last Nights Number: Bradley Beal

6-8

Bradley Beal has fractured his wrist, an injury that will require surgery and put the Shooting Guard out for 6 to 8 weeks. This accompanies the news that Kris Humphries injury was more serious than initially expected. Humphries required eight stitches in between his pinky and ring finger and underwent surgery to fix nerve damage. He will be out 3-4 weeks.

A friendly reminder that Nene will also be suspended for the first game due to coming off the bench for the altercation that took place in the first pre-season game against Chicago. Paul Pierce has the ability to play the 4 position, as he had in the past, so we may see Otto Porter and Glen Rice Jr move to the starting lineup for the first game.

Your Shot Is A Chem Trail: 2001-02 Sacramento Kings

homepage Photo credit: roundballdaily

Doug Christie, Peja Stojakovic, Mike Bibby, Vlade Divac and Chris Webber. They were THE team to watch in the early 00’s and in the 2001-2 season they were within minutes of going to the finals.

Before getting too deep into it, take a look at the shot charts of the main players of that team, courtesy of nyloncalculus.com

Let’s start with the interior.

Hedo

Hedo

Vlade

Vlade

Hedo took the baseline jumpers and Vlade was inside the paint, the melding between the two if you put them on top of each other is almost a straight line blurring into a flurry right at the basket. Hedo ate on good contracts forever based on his years in Sacramento.

Now a turn of three jump shooters.

Doug

Doug

Mike Bibby

Bibby

and Peja

Peja

I know I am listing multiple players that didn’t always share the floor, but the left side for the Kings must have just been some kind of dimensional portal. Peja and Hedo could both get it from the corner like a crack shot, Bibby had the inside of the three-point line and Doug Christy got the spot just a step above the baseline. Whereever there was a blank spot or a low percentage for one, another shooter picked it up.

And now, the MVP of the Kings, Chris Webber-

Webber

Got-dang. So what do you think that spells out? On the far left is an S, the decension of the cluster next to it is a little harder to break. Webber’s shot chart is like some advanced form of Tetris that probably only exists in the deep murk of Reddit or something.

This was a Kings team ranked with the 3rd best offensive rating in the league, 2nd best team scoring points, 1st in pace and was the number one ranked team in the NBA.

So why didn’t they go to the finals?

The West Conference Finals was an Inside Job.

The series was tough, but seemed even until Game 6, where a flurry of calls in the 4th quarter put the Lakers on the free throw lines a staggering 27 times. Keep in mind this was an era when Tim Donaghy was a referee and later came out stating he had awarded fouls to cover point spreads because he was gambling. Couple that with sneaky, passive-aggressive starfucked David Stern as commissioner and voila, the Lakers are in the Finals again.

Faretheewell Kings, you never had a chance under Big Stern.