Ghoulie Boullez: KD2TwinPeaks Pt 5


Kevin looks to leave the Double R Diner, James Hurley is sullen and boring him, so he finally just stands up to leave. As he turns, an entire piece of cherry pie hits him in the chest. He realizes he has bumped into a waitress. She has a look of horror on her face and she stares at the pie stuck to Durant’s shirt.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, sir,” she says.

“It’s okay, accidents happen,” he says a little frustrated.

“Here, let me get that for you,” she says as she peels back the pie from his shirt like it’s a sticker stuck to a wall. “Don’t worry about your bill. Oh, you didn’t order anything.”

“I was just meeting a friend,” he turns to James, who has his t shirt pulled over his head but you can hear him quietly crying. Durant sighs.

“Why don’t you let me buy you a cup of coffee,” the waitress says, as she is already leading him to the counter.

Kevin pulled up and was instantly rewarded with a slice of pie and a cup of coffee. He sipped to be polite, but he was anxious to figure out what One Eyed Jacks was.

“So, you must be the new basketball player. I’m Shelly Johnson. Do you like it in Twin Peaks so far?”

“Yeah, it’s just…I’ve been looking for someone,” he said. “This coffee is fine..damn fine.”

“Looking? For a girl?”

“It’s not like that. But it’s a girl. Say, do you know this place One Eyed Jacks?”

“You shouldn’t be looking for girls at One Eyed Jacks. That place is nothing but trouble.”

“I figured, but how would I get there?”

“You have to take a boat down the river, it’s in Canada. But I’m telling you….”

Shelly disappears into the back of the diner. Kevin looks at the pie, which smells delicious. “You’ll have to burn this off by tonight, Kev,” he says to himself as he forked a mouthful.

The bell of the door rang, but Kevin was too busy eating to pay attention. He feels the presence of someone sitting next to him at the counter. He turns to see an older woman, wearing a large cardigan sweater. Her glasses are huge and her hair is cut short. He almost doesn’t notice that she is holding a log. They both slowly look each other up and down.

She looks away from him and says very clearly “One day my log will have something to say about this.”

Ghoulie Boullez Week: Universal Monsters Scouting Report


Image by Travis Johnson


Summary: This European phenom really comes out at night. His high flying skills have made him very feared in his home of Transylvania. And his physical rivalry against Van Helsing has made for some classic match ups.

Cons: Plays poorly during early games, has some food and sleeping issues and his anti religious stance might make a divisive locker room.

NBA Comparison: Andrei Kirkilenko

The Wolf Man

Summary: A streaky player sometimes bound for greatness, other times he’s too timid and unfocused. When things are going well, he is a beast on the floor, however those times are too inconsistent, sometimes only once a month.

Cons: Night life for the Wolf Man is going to be an issue, when he’s out at night, he’s out ALL night. Also the body hair thing might freak people out.

NBA Comparison: JR Smith

The Mummy

Summary: The Middle East has become the newest hot spot for international players and the Mummy may just join their ranks. Although he appears slow and deliberate on the floor, he is able to chase down balls with great precision.

Cons: We’re unable to see his face, and his body is covered in bandages.

NBA Comparison: Nazir Mohammed

The Creature From The Black Lagoon

Summary: The beast from the swamps is sneaky and quick, but has limited stamina for a long strech. Will sit on the bench and get rehydrated as if his life depends on it. Has big hands though that will prove useful on both sides of the court.

Cons: Gets distracted by women too easily and never wants to leave a body of water.

NBA Comparison: Kawhi Leonard


Summary: This big lumbering beast of a player is not much on the offensive side, but his sheer size and strength will get him double digit boards all season. He is unmoveable in the paint and will be a physical match for any big in the league.

Cons: Is easily distracted and is terrified of fires. May have committed a crime in his past.

NBA Comparison: Roy Hibbert


Last Nights Number: Wizards vs Orlando Magic

New Orleans Hornets v Washington Wizards


John Wall lead all players with 30 points and 12 assists and the Wiz were up and down with the Magic, but managed to pull away once Paul Pierce iced a baseline shot in the final seconds. Wizards managed to have 0 blocks, the night before against the Heat they had 2 blocks. Granted this is Small Sample Size Theater, but in the first game for the New Orleans Pelicans, Anthony Davis had 9 blocks.

Wizards next game is the home opener on November 1st against the Bucks.

Ghoulie Boullez: KD2TwinPeaks Pt 4


Kevin Durant is driving down the road to the Double R Diner. He is set to meet James Hurley. Hurley is his teammate and seems to know something about Laura, but has been reticent to tell anything to Durant. He finally got James to agree to meet him, far away from the confines of the Lumberjacks facilities.

Kevin pulls into the parking lot of the Double R and impatiently walks in, scanning for James. He sees a spiky haircut shooting out from a head lying on a table and goes over to him.

“Hey James,” Durant says. James shoots his head up, his lower lip is jutting out and he has his resting pout face on again.

“Kevin,” he trembles. “Do you ever wish you could just get away?”

“James are you always like this? Tell me about Laura.”

“I was in love with her once and she broke my heart.”

“Is that why you’re like this?”

“Like what?”

No wonder she dumped your mopey-ass, Durant thought to himself.

“So what happened to her? I really want to get this ball back to her.”

“She got mixed up in the wrong crowd. Started to hang around One Eyed Jacks.”

“One Eyed Jacks? What’s that?”

“I don’t know, my uncle doesn’t let me hang around there.”

“James,” Durant said. “You’re even weirder then Russell.”

Last Nights Number: Wizards vs Miami Heat


Photo credit:


Drew Gooden III had 18 points in 34 minutes as he got the start at the Power Forward position for the Wizards. He went 8 for 11 shooting, with 5 rebounds and one assist. The Wizards lost to the Heat 107-95 as they were down three players in Nene, DeJuan Blair and Glen Rice Jr. Chris Bosh was in Raptors form as he went for 26 points, but the real story was the short career of Rasual Butler as a Wizard.

RIP Rasual.

Ghoulie Boullez Week: KD2TwinPeaks Pt 3


Kevin Durant walks into the empty¬†practice court of the Twin Peaks Lumberjacks. Durant is holding Laura Palmer and soaking in the new look to his life. A door swings open and a janitor is pushing a mop bucket onto the court. The janitor doesn’t look at Durant, he is trying to sheild something from him and it takes a minute for Durant to realize that the janitor only has one arm.

Finally the doors burst open and the team comes onto the court, almost all of them rush Durant and start to talk to him, while the coach comes in behind, quietly.

“Nice to have you with us, Kevin. I’m Coach Harry Truman, this here is my assistant, Hawk. We don’t really understand why you chose this rag tag outfit for your new home, but we sure are glad to have you.”

Durant smiles and nods while the coach talks, but he feels an intense pressure to speak. He looks up and sees the janitor is now staring at him. Coach Truman notices his face and turns to see what’s going on.

“Oh, that’s just Mike. He cleans up around here. Say, what’cha got there?” Coach Truman motions towards Laura Palmer.

Durant pulls the ball back in a protective reflex.

“I found this on my way here, I think it belongs to a girl named Laura,” Durant says.

A strange hush comes over the team and Coach Truman and Hawk look to the ground uncomfortably.

“What? Do you know Laura?” Durant asks.

“I know Laura,” a sullen voice from the ground rises.

“Kevin, I’d like you to meet your starting point guard, James Hurley.”