New Arena Chants

By now the sporting fan at large has heard the arena chants of The White Stripes “Seven Nation Army”. The familiar bass thump seemed to have first sprout when the LeBron James led Miami Heat started to pull away in games. And while it’s easy and fun and a way to participate in the fan experience, the song is getting a little long in the tooth. So we’ve come up with some new song chants you could use at the next game, complete with specific instances to bust them out.

When you’re desperate for the coach to call for some better spacing-

Sure this version is a little long, but once you get going with a “Space is the Place” chant, it’s hard to turn down.

Break Away Dunk-

You could go either way with this one, doing the lyrics or humming out the intricate yet fun melody. Also doubles for meta commentary due to Bruce Dickinson being a pilot!

Ray Allen Getting Hot-

Sorry we couldn’t find a cooler one for you, Ray, but it fits.

When a Team is upsetting a favorite-

It’s hard to imagine the night when say, the Bucks will knock down the Cavaliers, but this would seriously give goosebumps.

When your favorite player gets the Rasheed Wallace treatment-

It will probably happen when the Refs decide to steal someone’s swag.

 

Elevator (Doors) Pitch: I Should Be Your NBA Blogs Occult Editor

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Of all the off-season moves that the basketball world endured this year, some of the biggest ones were done by the blogging community. Blogging networks expanded and became more niche. Established blogs decided to become more expansive in their coverage.

SBNation created social media managers for their team sites to live blog games and events. Hardwood Paroxysm expanded their network, creating individual blogs for advance stats, photoshopping and humor.

So here’s my pitch: Your NBA Blog needs some sinister coverage. And I’ll tell you why:

Diversity

How many times can you live tweet Space Jam? It’s true the Venn Diagram of pop culture and basketball have limited options, but why stop there? Let me draw parallels between David Lynch and Phil Jackson. Or add the mysticism of Alejandro Jodoworsky into your posts. A dash of post-apocalyptic prose never hurt anybody.

Spooky shit is cool

Did you know there are haunted hotels that teams force their visitors to stay in when they travel to that city? Did you know there are curses in basketball? I mean you probably did, but you don’t have time to investigate because you’re watching PER rise and fall like the harvest moon.

Narrative Narrative Narrative

The basketblog world is getting smaller, but the stories are being eaten up left and right. Your blog will need new ways to digest, process and explain the stories of the NBA.

 

Did I just say the same thing three times? Basically yes, but so are all those other blogs out there, at least I will throw in some solid horror movie and black metal references to keep their eyes from glassing over.

Inquire within: ufosareglam at gmail

Elevator Doors Podcast: Ep 7 “Comedy Minus Flop”

The ED podcast is back! We’re talking grading the Wizards preseason grades and supporting the comedy career of Blake Griffin!

Programming note: The podcast is now on Itunes! Please subscribe and leave a review!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/elevatordoorss-podcast/id918840835